Last year’s valentine’s Day was definitely one for the books. It was the third time I would be single consecutively and I had enough of biding my time with my fellow single friends who all seemed miserable about not having any partners to share the day with. You know the kind, smiling through gritted teeth, telling jokes about how at least they don’t have to go to bed worrying that someone might be cheating on them… when you know it’s all fake.
This year would prove different though as I had made the decision that for the first time ever I was so secure within myself to know that a relationship was not going to define me. I’m quite emotional and I welcome any reason to celebrate, this Valentine’s Day was not going to be an exception.
First, I saved up and purchased myself this really nice outfit that I would gift myself as a Valentine’s Day gift. No one needed to know. I wasn’t doing it for social media and doing the thing some women do where they post a gift they got themselves with a teddy bear thanking the imaginary partner who surprised them.
I was purchasing my own gift because I deserved to show myself some love and maybe if I did that often enough, it would teach the next Mr how to treat me.
There’s no way someone can love you any less that you love yourself and you’ll accept it. That’s not how it works. But I digress…
I bought this gift a day before Valentine’s Day. I remember the lady at the fitting rooms took one look at me and said: oga is enjoying oh, fine woman. I laughed knowing I was my own oga.
I then booked myself into a spa for the day after valentine’s Day as all the spaces had been taken up. People had booked in advance and I was a novice at this so I took it in good faith.
Now to D-day, I wore that very outfit to work. It was a black dress that could be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. I applied an extra layer of lipstick and everyone at work left me a positive compliment. I was glowing! (Even though between me and you, highlighters have to be make-up’s best invention) I couldn’t stop smiling.
At lunchtime, I went online and saw that two of my friends had just been proposed to and I found that there were no pangs of jealousy, just acceptance and pride. Pride in knowing that it was their time and it just wasn’t mine, at least not yet. My partner was still baking and God was taking extra time to make sure he came nice and brown on the outside and well cooked on the inside; so I wasn’t fretting.
After work, I bid adieu to my colleagues then my clique of fellow single girls called me up to complain. I was quick to hang up. I called a Taxify ( I wasn’t about to drive on Valentine’s Day in peak traffic-that was another gift I was making to myself) and out I was to this new restaurant I had been meaning to try. I had booked myself a nice table by the ocean and I had a three-course-meal. The chef was so intrigued by me that he took me on a tour of the kitchen and made me try different cuisines and wines. He educated me on contemporary dishes I had only read about and just like that I was having a blast!
As I called my Taxify, full on food that I had both ordered and didn’t, I vowed to do this very same exercise on the next Val’s day if God hadn’t brought my own Mr my way.
Spent the next day at the spa getting massaged and waxed. If you’ve never been to a spa, you need to go. I came out feeling less stressed and tired. I felt clean and rejuvenated. It was the perfect way to end my time of being spoilt.
That Sunday, I went to church feeling extra thankful as I dropped off all the clothes I hadn’t worn in over a year for the orphanage at the charity collection stop.
This year, I won’t be spending Valentine’s Day alone. God has brought me a well cooked man and we’re going strong. Maybe it’ll lead to marriage, we’ll have to see… but I’m no longer prisoner to the fear of singleness, in fact I truly embrace it if that is the path God places me on.
That year still goes down as my best Valentine’s Day ever! We’ll have to see if the Mr can top it.