In hopes of inspiring positive changes in you, people serve you half-truths. The sermon of self-love is one such instance. But here at Flourish Africa, we try to give it to you straight, served hot always. If your journey to self-love is only just beginning I’d like you to brace yourself, it’s going to be a long ride. I almost want to go as far as saying self love can be painful.
As much as the society promotes self love and self validation. It is much easier said than done. As humans, there’s something about our flesh that just isnt naturally calibrated to love who we are. It doesn’t help that society isn’t the most accepting or nurturing either. So self love is actively going against your own body.
Self love is not taking on that job that requires that you spend too much valuable time away from your family even though it will pay you twice your current earning capacity, self love is saying no to those advances that will score you a beach house on the island because he is married, self love is not having chocolate because you’re trying to shed the extra weight. It is saying no to the temptation to be average and live happily ever after but instead, pining to be better. As a result of self love, you will lose friends, close relatives and maybe even relationships/marriages because you have come to value yourself a lot more than they ever might. Self love is making friends with loneliness to find the time to really reflect and decide what you want out of life. A mentor once told me that I needed to picture what the end of my life would look like, that, he said, should serve as a guide. He wanted to die on his sick bed with family all around him in his house on a farm somewhere remote. For him, Family was everything. I had to think carefully and decide what mattered to me the most. Suffice to say, I discovered that it wasn’t money. That has shaped my attitude and priorities towards life and my career but it took some introspection.
It is important to note this when beginning your journey to truly falling in love with yourself. You’ll find that you might have nervous breakdowns because youll realize that you’ve been giving people discounts for so long, you might even go through a period of loathing yourself for some of the mistakes you’ve made in the past. “If only i’d started this journey sooner”, you might say to yourself. But go easy. It’s all part of the journey but to come out on the other side, you’ll have to work through all the emotions.
As you go into the year make sure to note that there will be hiccups along the road, sometimes, self love will seem like self hate. Refusing flesh and bodily desires what it wants is never easy. But do know that there is joy, peace and contentment at the end of this tunnel. Don’t give up.
You will come across several challenges but remember where your priorities lie. Remember the promises you made to yourself. Don’t hold back on loving yourself with all your being and watch as things align in your favour. Like attracts like. If you like you, others will too.